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NE Oregon | Feeling a little discouraged with another long calving season... I’ve been scouring the Internet for support for the rancher’s wife but seem to have come up short. They’re mostly romanticized or humorous lists of how insensitive ranchers are to the needs of their wives or the people around them (because cattle come first- ALWAYS.) Hard to wrap my head around putting any sort of vocation above your family’s needs (why even marry?). Of course I’ve got my female friends but nothing takes the place of time and conversation spent with my dear husband of 5 years. The advice I’ve read/received is along the lines of “get out and work with him to spend time together”, but nobody will explain to me how I’m supposed to help sort pairs or feed while stuck inside a crappy feed pickup with a 1 and 3 year old (and one more on the way). We’re just in the way and “ain’t nobody got time for that”. I want to be supportive, encouraging and loving, but I feel like a single mom and I’m emotionally drained and lonely. Of course, there is always the perpetual promise of “this is just a season”, but calving turns into branding, which rolls into turn-out and fencing and farming and then summer brings haying and irrigating. Autumn, there’s repairs and shipping and sorting and working and driving the cattle home. And then the tasks of feeding and breaking ice and busting snow drifts take over once again. Husband can’t even make the time to fix a leaky O ring in the kitchen faucet. I know he’s busy- with no end in sight. And I do realize that I have the perspective of time that allows me to look back on generations past and be grateful I have a washing machine and a halfway functional dishwashing machine, food on the table, and a husband that is generally kind to me- I do have a lot to be grateful for, I know. And I am grateful. But I also have the privilege of a childhood defined by secure, deep relationships with my parents and the perspective that money and work aren’t really what it’s all about, especially since we can’t take any of it when we go. I guess I just wonder if I am really cut out for this...
Any grand perspectives anyone can offer up for me?
Much appreciated.
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am I cut out for this?
