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Saskatchewan | Our daughter was/is similar to your son in behavior. Seemed liked the more we pushed the more she would push back and using a get tough approach only made thing worse. Some one recommended this book to us "Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent and Energetic" and honestly it was a life saver for us. When I first read it I cried because it described our daughters behavior to T, and it gave us hope. The main thing with our daughter is routine, she does not handle change/surprises or stress well at all. Honestly read the book if you can, I cant explain it all here but it explains how they need time to themselves etc.... and how they need structure and discipline, but not corporal punishment as some will advocate.
I know I am late to the party here but this book worked wonders for us without worrying about food dye etc....
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I now sympathize with parents of "difficult" children
