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I now sympathize with parents of "difficult" children
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frytownfarmer
Posted 11/16/2015 09:07 (#4899230 - in reply to #4897930)
Subject: RE: I now sympathize with parents of "difficult" children



Frytown, Iowa

heyhay your right. we all have personalities that can be used for good or bad... and parents can push a child to use his personality for good or bad but its a process in childhood. your child could easily turn out to be a CEO or boss/owner of a successful business. Im glad you brought this up 00rooster. our boy is really easy to parent and we thought we were the best parents around till we had our little girl... she doesn't sound as bad as what you guys are going through but she can be stubborn and throw fits... i would have never believed that it wasn't us till we had her... now i realize its largely personality of the child and we have to adjust our parenting to guide her so that she doesn't feel we hate her for her stuborness but instead cultivating her stubborness for good... all i can say i what is working for us... i say this not because we are a professional parents but because i LOVED reading what others have said... getting my wheels turning in my head.

for our girl (2 yrs) as of now its a lot of communication breakdown. she can understand what we are saying but can't tell us what she wants... we are getting better at figuring out by guessing what we have done in the past. like others have said... we often give her options that we have picked out... (you can either hold my hand and walk or i can carry you across the parking lot)

we also do timeouts if she is throwing a fit where we put her on a lazyboy in her room with books and her pacifier and blankie... she just needs more quiet time than our boy.

before blow ups occur (and after) when the child isn't worked up we try to communicate what is about to happen as well as what has happened and explain why we do the things we do... i am amazed how well they understand us at that age.

spankings are a last resort because like you said... after that? what do you do?

good luck. those who blindly degrade OBVIOUSLY have only had one kid or have never had kids... like i said before... if all we had was our first boy we would think we were the best parents in the world and everyone else is just stupid with problem kids... but now we know better... 

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