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| Fefernuse - 11/15/2015 12:59
What you're wife is dealing with is an "oppositional" child. Google it. It can be a symptom of things like ADHD or it can stand on it's own. My son was just "oppositional". He wanted to be in control and make the rules.
That rings pretty true. He absolutely wants to make the rules.
It started in infancy. You needed to hold him a specific way to get him to sleep, he wouldn't fall asleep and stay asleep until everything was just perfect.
Then as he got older he got specific about the silliest little things. Like how his plate needed to be on the crack of the dinner table, his chair wasn't sitting just right, his milk glass needed to be filled to a specific level(not overfilled or underfilled), the ketchup had to be in the correct corner of the plate, and if you gave him too much of anything he'd have a fit. The first child I ever saw throw a tantrum because you put too many french fries on his plate. To the point where we think he might be an OCD child.
Now, when you play he "writes a script" that you are expected to follow in playtime. He gives you lines and instructions and if you don't follow them specifically he has a tantrum. I kinda joke with my wife that he's going to be a Hollywood director with his script writing. And he notices even the slightest deviation from his script. Even when he was about 2yo you had to sing "Rock-a-Bye Baby" with a specific(but wrong) word. He has always been incredibly observant.
Now since I'm not about to be given instructions by a child, and its my job as a parent to prepare him for life I've always challenged him and purposefully do NOT follow his instruction. Instead of coddling his desires I expected that making him "deal with" things that weren't going his way would eventually make him receptive to things that didn't follow his script. I'll be honest, I don't know that its been effective at all. Its either I surrender to his instruction, or I hold my ground. I hold my ground, the tantrum ensues and playtime is over. I want to play, but I use it as a way to teach and I can't let him get in the habit of pushing and ordering everyone around. I just haven't seen any progress with this behavior.
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I now sympathize with parents of "difficult" children
