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S IL | I feel you because I was married twice to women like your older brother and they both made fun of or looked down on where I grew up and I was not involved in farming for many years because of my first wife for sure. Second wife I began farming as dad was retiring but she had the attitude we were working so that my parents could sit on their ass and do nothing. My dad changed his estate plan because of second wife to the benefit of my sister but I can still farm the family ground as first option.
The only hope for family unity is for your older brother to get a divorce. Odds are he’s been fantasizing about it for years but hoping she files first so he’s not the bad guy and can be the victim. Maybe not. Just do the best you can maybe your brother will reach out more someday. Your parents are hurting I know.
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