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NC Kansas | My dad is 83 also. 2-1/2 years ago my brother and I had about the same thing happen. Only it was Dad who was reluctant to try Assisted Living. Dad was a lot like your Mom. He had lost some weight, (not eating), and we knew his driving was getting "sketchy" for a lack of better terms, had a severe episode of dementia 6 years ago and had gotten better, but we noticed he was diminishing again. I lived 50 miles from him and my brother 110. We had the county Home health assistant helping one day a week and the local grocery store dropping off noon meals. We would ask the people around dad in the community he lived in how he was doing. They all said he was doing really good. But, we had a feeling they were "saying it" and not "meaning it". Got a call one Sunday morning that he had gotten some new meds in the mail on Saturday and he was just checking to see if he needed to take 1 or 2 or 3. I asked him what they were and he admitted, didn't know and couldn't tell me what they were. I told him to not take any for about 2 hours as I needed to check with my brother and he agreed to wait. We made a quick trip up to find that the pharmacy had accidently mailed them to him and not Home health. We did some checking and suggested Dad try the Assisted Living and he agreed. He lived there just about 2 years and ended up in the hospital last February. Now he's in the nursing home and he's adjusting to it.
If you ask him, he will tell you he should have went to the Assisted Living 2 years sooner. He really enjoyed it. Liked meeting new people and the staff really make the residents feel special. My suggestion is,,,, maybe if you ask your Mom, she will state her wishes to stay at the Assisted Living????
My brother and I see almost eye to eye on these issues and I know that is a blessing. The facilities Dad has been in now are in the same town I am and my brother is 60 miles away. I am the POA and pay the bills, order the meds, deposit the checks, balance the checkbook, and try to see him once a week. I let my brother deal with the nursing home insurance company, Blue Cross and Blue Shield and set up the appointments for Dad to see the VA. Our battle presently is to get Dad on Part D of Medicare. He has been on the VA meds in the past, but now there are some they aren't covering and it makes his medication situation more difficult.
I know the situation you are in and it is tough. I don't know exactly how to describe what we are doing with our parents; it's not "raising them"(like our kids), but the similarities are amazing. We know we can let our 11 year old daughter be home alone for brief periods and she does great. She can call us on the phone, text us, do her chores. I honestly don't think I could safely leave my Dad alone now.
The sisters need to step up! Hope this helps! | |
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83 y/o mother needs to stay at assisted living sisters say no.
