I doubt there's any telling how this will all turn out in 5 years. She may have been married 2 more times; you and she may have been married for 4 years. The only thing I can tell you with any certainty is back off and let her go. The more you pressure to "be friends" or to stay in contact or whatever else, the more it's going to push her away. I don't understand why it's that way, but it is. If, in a period of time, she shows back up on your doorstep or you meet her at an event and things seem promising, you can always ask her out again if that's what you want to do at that point. But please don't hang your hat on this girl and working to get her back. Pressure just plain doesn't work. It's a hard lesson and sadly it's one that most of us have learned the hard way. Concentrate on yourself and the things you need or want to do. Pick up some classes at a local community college, volunteer for projects in your town, use the time to expand your horizons. You'll be amazed at the turns life will take for you. I'm sorry, I hate to see anyone hurt like you are, but that's the way life is sometimes. Don't beat yourself up over it, use it as a learning experience.