I am praying for both you and Kathy. I lost my mother at 52 and grandfather at 62 to cancer . It totally changed my grandfather personallity for the worse when it spread to his brain. My mother had lots of chemo and radiation .The radiation had the least side effects but they where  aiming it at her ribs. The chemo basically destroyed her health and appetite. I really feel she would have had a better quality of life with out  the last rounds of chemo after the cancer came back the last time. Have you looked into home health and Hospice care. I know it helped with my dad. I had been hoping  your since you had not posted anything about you  and Kathy things where going okay so sad to hear  your situation cancer really destroys the whole family.