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| I went through a divorce a little over a year ago. It was the most painful thing that I have ever experienced, won't wish it on anybody. She left in July of 2015 and I was served papers less than a week after her so called wonderful brothers and sisters moved her out. I was totally crushed. The whole dam thing was based on a bunch of lies and allegations that were all made up bull****. They accused me of hiding money which to them is at the top of their list of the most valuable thing to have / more important than family. (They even fought over the money when they settled their mom and dad's estate) Anyway back to my mess I was served papers a few days after she moved out by local Deputy that I am friends with and he advised me to get an attorney which was very difficult for me to do because a did not want a divorce. I was a complete mess having a total melt down.
I meet up with an attorney and told him that I wanted to fight the divorce and drag it out as long as possibly giving her enough time to realize what she was asking for and to be sure that this is what she really wanted and not what her brothers and sisters wanted. My attorney stated that I was being foolish and that no one ever fights for a divorce and that I must realize that in the end if she wants a divorce I must sign the papers. But he did agree to drag it out as long as possible.
I'm telling you that I cried every day several times a day for over a year and prayed the rosary everyday sometime two to three times a day even though my mom stated that praying the rosary would not make her come back, but a prayer is never wasited. Every day I would pray on the way home from work that she would be there. Never Happened :( The pile of paper work that I had to turn in was unbelievable, I basically audit myself but I did and never withheld anything from them. Her family had their finger nails dug in deep, digging through everything, going through all the bank papers. They even had the bank make copies of everything from the time we got married till the present day, 31 years’ worth of records. Her older sister kept calling my brother’s house asking about me hiding money and towards the end she ask them don't they think that I am capable of hiding money? (Why she kept calling is because they could not except that they were wrong)
They wanted all the machinery and the majority of the farm land (Shocking). A few years ago she wanted a new house which I will agree we needed one but guess what she didn't want the new house she wanted the farm land and all of the machinery and even my 1970 Chevelle that my dad bought for me when I was 16 years old. Almost 2 years went by and then I received a phone call from my attorney that she had set a court date and again I had another complete melt down. I showed up to the court room, walked in alone with my attorney and there they all sat. Her oldest brother at the main table with her and her attorney and the rest of the cheerleaders sitting off to the sidelines. I was a complete mess, total meltdown again. My attorney stood up in the court room and said that this is not going to work and removed me from that court room placing me in a separate court room and he went back and forth between the two rooms while we battled it out. They wanted all of it. Well we finally came up with an agreement so then we were supposed to all meet at my attorney office to sign papers but they never showed up for 2 hours, her own attorney never had any idea where they were.
When they finally showed up she had 4 pages of items that she still wanted. It was unbelievable even her own attorney could not believe it. We did come to an agreement (I guess) then the time to sign the paper was for real going to happen. Before I sign I look right at her and asked her are sure that this is what she really wanted and my attorney touched my arm and said stop it, sign the paper. She looked right at me and said yes that is what she wanted. I signed the papers told her she was a dam fool got up left the room and cried all the way back to a different room and waited for my attorney to return. I'm telling that in my 58 years of life never felt this low or had ever experience this much hurt.
I'm telling you that for me the pain lasted a very long time and still hurts a lot but one thing that I did tell myself is that I was going to find myself and who I am. Going back to church was really hard for me to do because I always felt like people were judging me even though they probably were not doing cuz it was just all in my head.
I was in church one Sunday morning thinking how messed up my life was and had a thought I can't even pay attention to the priest for one hour this crazy, so I tried to focuses on the readings but again my mind wondered away thing how simple my life was when I was just a small child and my older brother and I would fly kites sitting on the outdoor hay mound. Now I am thinking this is crazy I can’t even give one hour on my week to church.
The Gospel readings ended and father started his sermon and he started out with how people live are messed up with things like going through a divorce and other tragedies in their lives. Boy did this get my attention but it gets better. As I listened he started talking about this little boy who had a grandfather who was sick and dying and had given the grandson a dragon kite as a gift. The little boy was instructed that the only way that his grandfather was going to get better was for him to let go of the kite string that he was so dearly hanging onto.
Let me tell you this really got my attention almost spooky. I walked out of church that day thinking how this could be and realized that I must to let go of that string that I was so dearly hanging onto. I did talk to the priest a few weeks later about it and I think he was just as amazed of the thing as I was. He did tell me if I thought that I was going through this divorce by myself I was wrong and that someone is with me holding my hand. A couple of months had past I continued going to church and during the Our Father I had looked up and seen Jesus, yes this did spook me also. First I thought I was imagining things but I was not. I know I don't get much sleep but this was real. And again a few weeks later I saw Jesus again.
Even though I am still heartbroken I know now that I will be alright and you too will realize you will be alright also. Believe in the Dear Lord and he too will walk with you. I am not making this up this really did happen to me. A divorce is a really had thing to go through but you must keep faith and let him hold your hand.
Edited by 6600combine 9/22/2018 14:52
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Divorce advice
