How I'd perceive what you've written would somewhat depend on the age of your wife, and/or how old-school traditionally she was raised. There used to be very strictly defined rules of etiquette for what the bride's parents did and what the groom's parents did. If she was raised, or sees the world, in a very traditional way, it may be hard for her to realize that the world has kind of moved out of those old timey roles and is a bit looser now than it used to be. Try communication. Listen to what she actually wants you to hear instead of just what she's saying. Is part of it the fact that her baby is leaving the nest and she's having a bit of a hard time accepting that?  Is she OK with your daughter's future in-laws, or is there a bit of friction there? Talk it out in a calm, non-threatening manner and find out what's really bugging her. You'll be glad you did by the time the big day rolls around. billybob kinda tends to want to turn most everything into the wife disrespecting her husband and her marriage, but I sure can't see where you've given any indication that that's the case here. Good luck!!