I understand completely. Been there-done that,, except it's 'being there-doing that'.

Aricept is NOT a magic bullett despite the claims. Aricept only slows the progression it doesn't stop or reverse the alzheimers.

Ahay gal was trying to be very sensitive and caring and I can appreciate that.

Alzheimers unfortunately is not nearly as sensitive or caring.  Alzheimers is like a train wreck. All Aricept does is slow down the train some...

If Grandma is being physically assaulted, and Grandpa is out of control even 1/2 of what you have alluded to,, honestly it's time to find a alzheimers unit for Grandpa. I know it is and will be hard to do. But honestly,, if Grandpa does do something when he is in one of his "out of control" moments, Grandma is going to be taking the full brunt of the Grandpa's actions.  In Grandpa's lucid times would he feel bad?, absolutely, would he do anything to ever hurt Grandma?,, never. 

But the issue is not when Grandpa is being "Grandpa" it is about when Grandpa turns into some person totally scary.

There is some legal aspects too.  IF it has not been done yet it needs to be done,, like yesterday.   IF Grandma doesn't have Guardianship, she should get guardianship now!  (in some states,, if Grandpa was in assisted living and didn't like it,, without guardianship,, he could simply walk out and the home could not stop him. (I know this because a good friend went through this exact senerio with his Dad,, he only had "power of Attorney" ((which is worthless in this situation)) and it was a mess..)

Again,, none of this is easy in the least, but it's time to get the family together and make the very best decisions for all involved including Grandma.  THere are no good answers,, only the lesser of the evils.

I've got an email if you feel the need to ask questions one on one.

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