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NW KS/ SC ID | While blunt, he is right in many situations.
When me and a highschool classmate were grabbing lunch one summer 5 years after graduation, another one of our classmates came in with her new husband.After a quick chat and after they left, me and the classmate pretty well decided that was not going to end well and he seemed kinda douchey. It didnt end well. they had a kid together, kid is very troubled, acts out often, dad is a poor parent, zero structure, discipline, etc. when she visits.
Luckily for her, she met a heck of a guy for round #2 (shop foreman for Caterpillar and barely in his 30s, so a real go-getter) and they have two nice kids together.
IDK what the blowback from marriage and kid #1 will do to the second marriage and the other two kids, time will tell, but so far the stability of a good husband is doing wonders for her. From what little I keep up with her, he has a heart of gold and the patience of Job when dealing with the bratty stepdaughter and her d-bag father.
Unfortunately we were not super close with her in school, and life takes us down different paths so its not exactly like we had the opportunity to warn her about our thoughts on him before they got married, and it would have been rude to do so in the first place, so while we saw it coming, we just kept our mouths shut because we feared the outcome if we were wrong.
So as a society do we speak up? At what point in a friendship are you qualified to give advice on who your friend should be dating?
I am glad I kept my mouth shut about a buddy's now wife, she seemed like a bad choice at first glance and came from a VERY troubled family situation, but he was/is perfect husband material, and just the stability she needed, and the marriage has transformed her into a heck of a wife and now mother.
So maybe the occasional suggestion of "hey, slow things down, IDK yet if she is the right girl or guy for you" might be worthwhile? It seems rushing into an early marriage without dating for a while is where alot of these failed marriages come from.
Me? I dont see myself as great husband material, and not really emotionally available, so essentially fearing breaking some girl's heart, I try to keep myself off the market. (Much to the disappointment of my Catholic-raised mother who longs for grandchildren... :) ) Does knowing the problem make it better? I dont think so, but heck, maybe it does and I wouldnt be that bad. But is that up to me or her to decide?
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So many one parent families
