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| Proposals:
1. Organize a cartel..... similar to OPEC. End Users/Countries don't want to pay up? Then "No Grains for You!!" <----Seinfeld Soup Nazi reference
2. Develop a "super bug" or disease with the help of a major seed company. The "super bug" will attack and kill corn and soybeans that are not the Company's Brand X. Prices will skyrocket and the company will get rich[er] because only their seed is immune to the Super Bug. Everyone will have to plant Brand X - which they will be happy to do because it's the only seed immune to the super bug! Repeat every 10 years or so.
3. Work with federal authorities to develop a "Feed the Wildlife" initiative (FTW) - paid for by, of course, the taxpayers! Start out with a TV/ internet/ print marketing campaign using celebrities that shows wildlife in Yellowstone, other national parks, BLM land, National Forests, etc starving to death in the winter. This "FTW" (read: For The Win) initiative would involve the US Government buying corn, beans, wheat and shipping said grains to the western US and dumping it on federal lands to feed the 100s of millions of deer, elk, birds, squirrels, mice, rats, raccoons, moose, bison, bighorn sheep, mountain goats, etc... Instead of eating up the precious soil-stabilizing vegetation on our federal lands, the animals can eat American grown grains. Then those grain-fed animals will get all fat and delicious for the carnivore populations - bear, cougar, mountain lions, wolves...... Everyone wins!
4. Like mentioned in a previous post, producers pay $0.10 /bushel on their production. However, the money is NOT used to manipulate the futures market...... The money will be used to hire big fire-fighting fixed-wing aircraft that can carry 1000 gallons of Pramitol to South America. "Accidentally" flip the unload button, releasing Pramitol in the major grain growing regions....... Whoops! But hey, at least we'll get higher prices when their ground is sterilized........
5. Start a new worldwide religion that worships Grain. The followers will deem corn and soybeans sacred and be urged to collect as much as they can throughout the year. Maybe even convince them to put up a small bin next to the garage and fill it up......
6. Work with less-lethal weapon manufacturers to develop a gun that shoots corn or soybeans. If the recent level of police shootings is any indication, then authorities will probably use up the USDA's phantom 300 million bushels in no time!
7. Hire the Somali pirates to capture and sink grain cargo ships..... (but without any killing, of course)
And that's about all I can think of right now.......... | |
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What do you propose as an alternative to low prices to balance supply and demand?
