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KS | Brandon
All are great points and we have had the same experiences. I am thankful that you were able to adopt you r children through the system. We were able to move two sibs to a family that was ready to foster to adopt. At our age, which is not that old, it was the best thing for the kids. The blessing is that our families are keeping in touch and have a great relationship with the parents and the kids. It was such a great day at the adoption event. We were all in tears with the parents, grandparents and us. It was all so good. So, there are some good things that do happen.
The big kids that age out is another story. We are 3 for 3 for basically cutting loose and loosing contact when they turn 18. By the time they get to this point, they become so narcissistic because they can’t understand how someone could love them unconditionally and give them some support into their future. We were so frustrated with the independent living workers as they promised this Nirvana place they would be at when they turned 18. Trouble was, that the kids didn’t have any skills or the maturity to function on their own. When they fail, well they’re 18 and an adult so they will just have to deal with the “natural consequences “. Then as you point out with #3, the emotional connection does not have a box to check on the paperwork.
This is my mission now. To gain an understanding of the repeated disconnection at this stage for these kids and to see if there is any way possible to help them to stay connected with their last stop in the system and have a concept of family and support as an adult. I even entertain the hope that there will be a change in the policy to address this challenge.
The system works with the law, we work with the love. It’s hard to make those two things work together. | |
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Foster care
