Texas/New Mexico Stateline | We did for a while until we were blessed to adopt the two siblings we first fostered. Which was our intention from the beginning. To foster to adopt.
I've posted on it before, but our situation was one of the very easiest fostering situations you will ever experience. They did intend to send them back to bio-mom at the very beginning which we understood was the plan. Then about 6 months in they terminated bio-mom's rights because she could not follow the plan they had been working on for 2 years. They told us we could adopt and we were of course thrilled! Then the state a couple months later said, "OOOPS, we found some aunt the kids have never seen, that is a lesbian and is living with her girlfriend, and we think the kids should go to her. Even though she has never shown any interest in the kids."
Well, we appealed the decision with the court, and the court saw the foolishness of the state's plan. Even though they notified the aunt of the case, nobody from the family came to the court hearing.
Anyway we did eventually get to adopt after that up and down mess. Without getting to religious I saw lots of things that happened in that case with case workers getting sick and not filing paperwork in time, and the way the judge made his decision I have believed was God's providence.
Things to remember about the foster care system:
1. It is a bureaucracy, where paperwork rules the day. They have certain objectives they are trying to achieve, and one of those is to give highest priority to putting children back with bio-family.
2. Being a bureaucracy, political correctness rules the day. They are not allowed to use common sense, and admit out loud some people (and families) should never be allowed to have children in their care. Nobody in the system is willing to say that these problems are inter-generational, where the mother is following the pattern of her mother and grandmother and IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE. No matter how much time they spend on programs and rehab, and holding their hands, some families are just not ever going to be able to raise productive members of society. That seems harsh, but it is true.
3. As a bureaucracy your emotional attachment to the children is not important. You are there to provide a home while they work with the system to figure out where the children are going to eventually end up. Probably the toughest part of the whole thing.
4. There are A LOT of good case workers and people in the foster system. Don't take my points the wrong way. They are very dedicated to their jobs, and they get emotionally tied up in these situations just like you do, but they are caught in the system that has lots of chiefs, and not enough braves.
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Foster care
