Got just such a call a couple months back. Female voice, Indian accent.

Whenever I get a direct sales or scam call from a female voice, I think "Jackpot! Comedy gold on aisle 10!" My wife got tired of me asking them "What are you wearing? And what about under that?" and so on. Nearly got slapped a couple of times. I always protested that I was innocent. After all, they called me. If they didn't want to receive my special brand of attention, they wouldn't call.

But they keep calling, so they must want more of my debonaire wit, delivered in sultry tones. 


I decided to be the better man this time and not do the wardrobe inquiry. I was going to be nice.


I let the nice woman from India talk me through this, that and some other thing to "do on your Windows" to prevent "criminal IP traffic from your computer."

Mind you, the whole time this is going on, I'm in the shop, working on guns on the workbench. I'm nowhere near a PeeCee.

She got to a point in her script when she asked "What do you see on your screen now?"

Me: "A naked woman."

Her: "....!" (confused stuttering).

Me: "Oh, and a horse."

Pause for dramatic effect.

Her: <click>

Haven't had another call since.

My wife is still threatening to slap me. At times, it seems nothing I do makes her happy.  ;-)