This is what a relative of mine put in his Census return envelope.....    

"
To Whom it may concern,

I have been debating with myself for quite some time on how to fill this census form out.

I will explain my situation, so you can understand my inabillity to complete this form.

My left side is Democrat and my Right side is Republican, so when one side comes up with a solution, the other side rejects it automatically; even though it means that we will come to a stalemate and accomplish nothing.

I have been watching our president and congress do this for some time now, and realize this is an OK way to do things.

I hope this helps you understand my problem. If I could only find some middle ground, I think I could complete this form; but it doesn't look like that will happen any time soon. So, I am returning this in hope that someone else can complete this task for you.

I apologize for this being a couple days late, but deadlines don't mean near as much as they used to, so I doubt it will cause much problem. "



I know this borderlines boiler room material, I posted here in the cafe (a friendly place to visit) due to the recent Census questions that have popped up here in the past 3 weeks.    

PS:  I thought this response to the Ag census.............. appropriate.   ;)