FWIW  We didn't have a dance or alcohol at our wedding reception which was held at the church.    Everyone was gone by about 8pm including my wife and I, that was A-ok by me.      We didn't really care what the guests expected it was our wedding.

If your sweetheart wants a dance she needs to do the talking to her father, you should be there to support her but she needs to do the talking.    He won't hold a grudge against his daughter forever like he possibly could against you.