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NC | I no longer feel like we are partners- and have no hopes left of that changing.
For the most part we don't fight any more, and he can't hurt my feelings anymore- so we are very civil to each other.
splitting up would be the end of the farm, and leave both of us and the kids unrooted(something we all value). Or if one did manage to keep the farm going neither one of us can run it efficiently without the other one. So we muddle along.
Difference with us is that neither of us wants to replace the other and get on with a new life. One good marriage going bad is enough for both of us.
And we still like and respect each other. Just can't work together or live together any more with out feeling like we are ignorantly being taken advantage of by the other one.
If I had the money I would just build me my own house(where I din't have to look at the mess he was making of the farm and the old house) and then get a job of my own, and just stick to doing the books and management of the farm-- then everything would be fine. I do need a way to get out of feeling like I am living in limbo and be able to set clear lines of what I will do and what I will not take anymore- and have the clear power to enforce it. And never have to hear the words "its my house too"- when he is being totally unreasonable over and over again over the same stupid issues.
Its just sad that two basically good people couldn't communicate enough to find a way to live in peace with each other. It doesn't help that we came from two different cultures and as he got older he got more extreme in his ways- and I was too easy going at first to put a stop to it when I might could have. Oddly we don't fight or worry about money .
The kids are old enough to know what is going on- and as long as we are not fighting they are ok with it- they know their parents have good qualities but are just rubbing each other wrong, and there is no villain to blame. | |
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how many stay married because of the kids?
