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NW Iowa | Levi, I feel for you! You've given the most eloquent and humble of posts! Your response is just what's needed at this point to heal your marriage! Don't give up hope! If you've been listening to podcasts perhaps you've caught the story of Dan and Ann Wilson on Family Life Today. It's a story no unlike yours and ended well. As long as your wife is maintaining fidelity towards you there is hope! Even if she isn't there's hope albeit diminished.
I've been down the road of which you travel. God is in charge, trust Him! Remain humble and respectful of your wife. It's easy to do or say things which you will later regret. The time you are in is horrible, no question about it. You likely aren't sleeping well, most likely neither is she. You're extremely distracted and distraught at the prospect of loss. Give her and yourself the grace to make mistakes. Quite possible this is a good thing your wife has shared this with you. It's a cry for help.
Right now I can see you're accepting most if not all the blame. That's ok at this point and for her to see. Later in the healing process you will see that while you made mistakes, so did she. Don't be to hard on yourself, you're human. We all make mistakes and most are out of simple ignorance. We don't mean to hurt or neglect.
If she will, I'd encourage you two seek out a Family Life Conference. I guarantee you if you have open hearts it'll be a game changer! Someone else mentioned Emerson Eggrichs and his book and study guide Love and Respect, it's an excellent resource. If she'd read that with you, it's life changing for a marriage.
My prayers will be with you my friend! Keep your head up and remember God has a purpose for you! You have value, so much that you were worth His dying! Regardless of what your wife may say you have immense value to your kids! Always, I mean always, reach out to them no matter if they push you away or not! Remember you love them unconditionally and they need you and your love and acceptance whether they know it or not! I can't emphasize that enough!
It's strange to say but while this is in one sense the worst thing to ever happen to you, later you will grow to see it as also the best. I don't say this in isolation, it's more common than not amongst those of us who've walked the road. You will grow as a man and experience a peace like you've never known!
Keep your head up, seek God and His will and do the next right thing! I can tell by your letter you're a man of virtue and integrity! I believe in you brother!
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For the Manly Men...Long. Tough Times update
