does she bring up the past problems all the time? does she walk into the room announcing she's here or with a smile, big difference in first impressions.
you know how the get together is going to go from that in it self.

had a sibling "get religion" as some say. we are glad that he has something positive in his life.
 
after 2 years of his turn around he told my wife that the catholic church was not a good thing for our kids--she politely told him that she being a 
catholic for 47 years thinks she might know a little bit more whats good for our kids than someone thats been going to church for 2 years. coming from
a good catholic background and family of 17 kids.
 
not another word was spoken about the subject. we call him the "convenient christian". we know we're not perfect.

sounds like your chicken that came home to roost turned into a vulture.

we found out it's best not to deal with high drama, it's draining. took my parents years to see the light and finally understand what we had
been dealing with, too bad it wasn't realized years earlier, it shortened their lives.

keep doing for your parents. they took care of you now its your turn, even though some others will try to undermine your efforts.