My wife wants to be cremated. I have joked with her that if she goes before I do I will put her ashes in an urn on the mantle and let my next wife dust her. But we don't joke about that anymore because she is scheduled for a partial mastectomy next Tuesday. Such diagnoses can change your perspective very quickly even though this is a very common and treatable kind of cancer and we have been reassured that this is not a life threatening diagnosis.

On the other hand, after my dad died my mom had no interest in remarrying, at least that's what she thought. They had been married for 56 years. 10 years later she reconnected with a WWII vet that she had known as a young teenager. They had "dated" when she was 14 (mom and dad married when she was 16). This fellow's wife had died a few years earlier. He was a great guy and very good to my mother. They were married for three years when he died, so she has been widowed twice. But while they were married they had a really good time "reliving their youth," at least as much as a couple of octogenarians can. To be around them you would have thought they were teenagers.

So, do second marriages work? It depends: on the reason(s) for getting married, the character/nature of the two who are marrying, and the character/nature of the two families that are being "blended." Marrying after the death of a spouse is very similar to marrying after a divorce. In both cases there is still the "ex" to consider, even though in the case of a death the "ex" is not there physically.

Would I marry again? I probably will never have to make that decision. Even though my wife has been diagnosed as mentioned above her family has a history of much greater longevity than mine. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there.