I think most families reach a 'critical mass' where the grandchildren start to grow up and have their own responsibilities. Gift giving (and the shopping) can start to take on a life of its own. No one likes to be the first to mention it, but all are relieved when someone finally does. It seems especially silly when gifts have to be sent to family who can't (or won't) be getting together at Christmas.

Best solution in my mind is drawing names at Thanksgiving from among those who plan to be together at Christmas. That way, there is only one gift to give, so it can be something nicer or more meaningful. It's a good way to get the kids involved in all the aspects of gift giving without being overwhelmed by having to come up with something for each and every aunt, uncle, cousin, in-law, boy/girlfriend, etc.

I think the example message was quite tactful, and should be appreciated by all. Anyone who would be offended has lost the spirit of true gift giving and the lessons we can teach children at this time of year.