Dear organic neighbor,
Last year I couldn't even tell what crop you was growing. We've turned id'ing the weeds that pop up in our fields that border you into a drinking game with the local agronomist. We thoroughly enjoy the years you rotate to hay. We'd probably even pay you to stick with it every year!  fyi... The guys who keep driving by your fields aren't looking on in admiration, they're conventional low management guys who need to look at a field that'll make themselves feel better about their water hemp crop. Oh, while I've got you, those weaned steers you're raising are out again. I'm sorry, I didn't notice they had nuts and were 4. No, I can't get them out of my cows right this minute, I'm trying to put down expensive pres to keep the water hemp from coming on in my beans. If you'd like your weeds killed I could probably be there in 5 minutes though! Yes, I know I'm killing the globe, so how about those weeds again? What's that you say, my flies aren't organic and you need those bulls now? Tell you what, if you'll fix your fence, I'll come kick them out in the road in about an hour. You'll have to sort the flies yourself though. No, I do not want to buy a bull.  ...wait a minute, would you sell me the whole herd, flies and all? Yes, I'm being serious. I'd even rent the row crop to raise hay for them! No, I will not hire you to take care of the place. Well, keep me in mind if you ever change your mind.
Thanks!