I agree.  I could have cared less if my wife took my name.  I don't need her to change her name to feel like am married to her.  I don't need other people to see that she changed her name in order to prove that we were married.  In fact, when we had to drive a whole 45 minutes to the closest SS office to change her name, I ask her if she really wanted to go through the hassle of doing it!!! :)