I've re-written this repeatedly.  We can't tell you what to do.  We can offer advice, and tell of our experiences.  But you have to decide when enough is enough and what you are willing to sacrifice to cause change.

You have reached the point where some hard decisions have to be made. That is too many hours without a break for anyone.  Throw in your wife's problems and you are a train wreck just looking for a loose rail. It may be time to go to the family and say this is not working out for me. I did that at one point in my life.  I won't go into the details here, but I had to make the decision to walk away from the farm.  As my Grandpa told me, there are lot of ways to make a living besides farming.  You have to do what is best for your family ... and by family he meant the wife and kids I was responsible for, not anyone else.

I was fortunate, I got to cross a bridge I burned 7 years earlier.  But if I had not I was prepared to live my life as a former farm boy who chose a different path to feed his family. 

It is a decision you and your wife have to make by yourselves.  Well, actually it is a decision you have to make and she has to support it.  But it is just you two, not anyone else.