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Central Illinois | First off, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Couldn't even imagine.
Can't help you on the $ part other than to say, get some professional help, banker or similar.
As far as cremation/burial- I am a funeral director and wouldn't begin to answer that for you. I would suggest you talk to your wife and family. I prefer burial, but I also cremate many people each year. No matter what way you go, I would encourage you to have a service, preferably with your body present. If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to email me, it's in the profile.
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