Wow, I want to be like your wife.  She's amazing.  KSBoy and I will be married for 2 years this coming December.  He is 55 and I am 46.  This is the first marriage for both of us.  What's hard for me is to see people like your wife and that I want to be like her right away, but then I realize that this was 30+ years of practice and I can't just arrive at that point in the next couple months, especially since I did not grow up on a farm.  I am happy I married KSBoy and live on our farm now, but I feel like it's a giant game of catch-up here.  There just isn't enough time in life to learn everything in short order!

Regarding how to love a farmer from the original poster, I too don't demand much of KSBoy when there's a lot of field work.  The dishes pile up (he signed up to do that, since I cook a lot), projects around the yard don't get done, etc.  But he is under such a time crunch that I try to do extra when I'm not working (been working off farm a lot lately). 

Maybe once the spreadsheets get up and running, he will be more willing to take a break and spend time with you.