Cambridge, southwestern Nebraska | I had an elderly lady that had been happily married for many years tell me before I was married to "never stop courting". Best advice I ever got and have never forgot it. We try to have a date night either just the two of us or occasionally with friends..alone is better..once a week. And I don't mean a shopping trip to Wal-mart. Either a movie or eat out somewhere nice that we're waited on. We don't always make it every week but in slower times we sure get it done. Even just staying home and watching a movie together is good. The investment of time you put into your relationship is no different than investing in the farm.
The old adage "when Mama ain't happy, nobodies happy" is so true. I have learned something many men don't understand that women need time. You should both read the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" It will enlighten both of you on what each other need in a relationship. Try to read it together and discuss it. It will really help.
We also make it a point to travel and get away from everything for awhile. If your husband feels he can't, then the farm rules him. Never let that happen. I know large farmers who make it a point to have their free time to go play. They just schedule it in. So if he says he doesn't have time you need to somehow encourage him to make the time. It is good to get away and get revived.
Your husband may be slow to respond but be sure to reward him and compliment him for any little things he does at first then he will be more open and want to do more for you as time goes along. In other words. At first he may not do all that you want him to do but praise him anyway. h ewill want to do more next time. Encourage him.
If at some point things still don't improve seek counseling. You don't have to view it as failing but marriage enhancement. Just making what you have better.
Good luck |
How to love a farmer
