East of Broken Bow | chiefillini - 2/22/2026 22:00
I'll try to generalize but curious your thoughts?
Family member A passed away. Spouse survives.
Will of deceased named child as executor and grandchild as successor executor
Spouse claims the exectors were a mistake and they should be executor
Lawyer wants child and grandchild to relinquish duties due to these wishes
Will consists of 2 trusts for the 2 children (filed within last 5 years)
Spouse, although fine now, has shown desire to cut this child out in the past (10-15 years ago)
Should the child refuse to relinquish and consequently cut themselves out of the spouse's will (because of razed feathers)?
Should the child relinquish with the current state of relationships being cordial and normal and hope things stay that way?
Unsure what nefarious things an executor can do if the will (and trusts) had been professionally done....especially if the spouse would have to go through the child to understand 99% of what the farm is
I know I know, a lawyer would be the right person to ask....
My thoughts:
First thought: Parent A knew how they wanted their estate divided. Spouse for some reason doesn't like the way parent A did things, and is trying to get things done their way. Spouse has no legal legs to stand on, which is why spouse has asked for them to resign. If spouse had legal legs to stand on, chances are they already would have gotten a letter from a lawyer ordering it.
Second thought: Parent A feels spouse would be irresponsible, so named people they felt would be responsible as exectors. Parent A may have been correct as spouse wants to be the one who is executor, which raises many red flags to me, as I have never met a grieving spouse yet who wanted to do that themselves with one lone exception: A spouse that skimmed some off the estate for themselves that they were not supposed to get. I am not saying that is the case here, as I don't know and have very little information to work on, but I would have concerns about that sort of thing. Now, I know of spouses who were the executor, but they didn't enjoy going through a lifetime of memories and splitting things up while still grieving one bit. The spouse 'wanting' to do this seems very odd to me.
Third thought: Parent A for some reason falsely believed that the executors would be responsible, but spouse knows better, and is trying to head off a train wreck.
In any case, the provisions of the will will still need to be followed, but perhaps there is something we are not seeing that is at play. For argument's sake let's say parent A owns 3 tractors, and the executor is to give one to the spouse, and each get one of the others, at the discretion of the executor. The spouse may be afraid she's going to get the 630 instead of the 8210.
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