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Eastern NE KS | Last evening my father died. We just celebrated his 90th birthday and then Thanksgiving. Good times, two of many over the last years. Over the same period the family knew he had cancer that was metastasized. I never really knew if it was a prostate, bladder or bone cancer. At his age and cancer status, a hormone treatment to impede tumor growth and some pain management was all that was used.
For a longer period we knew he suffered from dementia/Alzheimer's. However, I believe I was not told as soon as possible. But I digress and that wrinkle was ironed out long ago. Once I learned he was sick, our time together was easier.
Dad was a life-long stockman and horseman. The picture is one I took of him 51 years ago. He was chopping ice for water for the horses. The photo was at the beginning of a film in a Kodak Instamatic that Mom and Dad finished in China.
Skip ahead a lot, a CIA analyst visited to debrief Mom and Dad about their trip. He looked through all the pictures they took, selected 3 or 4 for enlargement for his work and offered to blow up Dad's photo for me.
In April '24, Dad moved into a small town assisted living and later changed wings to the nursing home. That facility allows one free meal a day to any visitor per resident. Over his time there, I tried to eat with him on Sunday. When haying, my visit might have to wait for wet weather.
The guys at his table would listen to our talks. I'd tell Dad about what is happening on the farm and the booming cattle market. He would reminisce his early days mostly from the 60's, showing cattle, working with high school boys and college graduates and managing a growing registered Angus cow herd. I got about 6-7 compliments on our stories from those old men.
Dad struggled to know what the date was. He had a calendar in his room and in the lobby but never thought of using them. Instead, he would ask me. I always answered him. It is a small thing but I could measure his loss of short term memory by the number of times he asked the date. Usually, after the 7th or 8th time he would preface the question like this, "I have probably already asked, but what is the date?". We'd laugh. That's ok Dad, you can ask anything.
This was probably boring to many of you but it filled my evening and dried just a few tears.
Edited by Doug61 12/6/2025 00:28
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Dad died after 30 hours of hospice care. (Long read)
