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nebraska | I am reliving your mind as I was in your shoes in 2009, there won't be much any of us can tell you that will help you much,,
You now have to rediscover a life without her and to find a new place in your life,,
Time is your friend but time is something you can't wait for to make you feel better about this, your inner strength and your kids and family are who you have to be strong for and also to find your own support in,,
There are many communities that have grief support groups that you can go to and just listen to others and or be actively involved in and share the process with, I went to them and it did help just to hear others talk about their situations and to be able to relate them to yourself,, you need the support now and you have to find what works for you to open up to and get your feelings out so you can
rediscover a life without her,, you were your wife's support , her everything in all of this,, it's at is darkest before it will start to be light again in your mind,,
One day at a time, you will find a new you and life without her,
Find something that will try to take your mind off of her,, it will be a kind of therapy for you, work, a hobby, giving of yourself for others,, something you used to enjoy for yourself and distract your mind from the present,,
Try to remember that most people can't put themselves into your shoes and have the right words or thoughts that will help so they are secretly silent inside but just know that they do care and are unable to express what they feel towards you,,, it's awkward for you all,, you have to be the one to ask or just go to them if you need someone to talk to,, climbing inside your head and hiding from your grief will hurt you more than talking it out with your family or friends,,
Talk to your kids openly as your own grief support group, they need to hear your weakness so that they can find a new life also,, find some activity you all can do once a week, something you used to enjoy and make it all of yours,, remember the good times together with your kids and share your memories with them,,
It certainly could help you all to go to a therapist who can help you through this if you so desire,, you aren't alone in this process but it may feel like it,,,
It's going to hurt terribly for a long long time and then it slowly gets better for you,, you will never forget her and all the times you experienced because of her,,,
You have to force yourself to live again,, things will become normal again but your friend will no longer be there with you other than inside your heart!
I wish I could be there and just give you a big hug and talk to you,,
Prayers for you and your kids and family from me!!
I was in your shoes and made it to the other side,, it's going to take a long time to find a new normal I'm sorry to say!
You made her your priority, now it's time to find yourself and help your kids find themselves and devote your priority to them,, life does go on without her unfortunately and it's going to hurt,,
Your just coming on here asking us shows your inner strength!!
Set aside time for your kids and focus on them, help them by listening and talking to them, don't force it, if that want to talk they will,,
I'm rambling on without much advice that will help you,, everyone handles grief differently,,
Find you and find your kids,, rediscover a new life together, just be there for them and everything will fall into place over time,,
Time is your best friend now for all of you,,
We(agtalk) are here for you! | |
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My best friend died Nov 6
