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Suicide, thoughts
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country boy
Posted 5/27/2024 01:16 (#10752796 - in reply to #10752750)
Subject: RE: Suicide, thoughts


North Dakota		Yes I know what you are talking about. It has been a problem I have been dealing with for years but about 4 years ago it got worse I felt like my whole world was falling apart and it was my fault. This is hard for me to talk about but if it saves your life it’s so worth it. First of what you are going through is curable but is not going to happen overnight and you will need to face the real issues that are causing your depression and anxiety. Suicidal thoughts don’t just happen. we get warnings sooner but when we ignore the signs we get worse. Here are some examples that lead to suicidal thoughts. Stress if left unchecked will lead to burnout. Boredom of the mind and body can also lead to depression and left unchecked will spiral you into suicidal thoughts. Ideal hands and the devil comes out to play. What I’m saying is if you are stressed out from over thinking and worrying you need a place or hobby to unwind. For me it is shooting working on guns and cleaning them and reloading. Also motorcycles I love riding them. I know what you are going through but I don’t know what is causing it. It could be money issues or marriage problems or in my experience it was narcissistic parents that are truly evil but put on a good show for everyone else in public and make you think you are going crazy. Hard to explain right now but I could write a book on how evil they are. No matter how much I worked or improved the farm or my life it was never right they always pointed out a problem which led to my ocd getting out of control and was controlling me. I’m painting with a broad brush right now there is so much more that was going on but I’m just trying share some things with you.
Your body right now is screaming at you telling you that there is a problem. Like a check engine light on your truck warning you. Stop ignoring it and deal with the real problem in your life that has lead to the dark place you are in. It’s taking me years to figure this out and I am in a much better place. I cut out all of the world is ending news all it does is breed fear. I cut out all the narcissistic people that I was allowing to use me. I then fixed my self and my marriage. Don’t let pride get the best of you. Go to a doctor and get some medicine and talk with a therapist. It will help but please be patient it takes time to heal. But every day you are still alive you are healing remember that. Your mind is on autopilot you need to retrain it. Repeat this saying over and over if you want to.
One foot in front of the other. Keep ****ing going.
You will overcome this my friend don’t quit. You did the right thing by asking for help that is the first step now take the next one and the next one. Don’t stop fighting for your life. You are stronger than you think. I will be here if you want to talk more.
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