|
SE Wis | Ten day's after another rotator cuff surgery with time on my hands. So instead of thinking about what's ahead, my mind takes me back to one of those moments a guy just wants to forget.
It was November, I believe 1961. I was going out with this girl. I thought she was hot, but wouldn't be much by todays standards. I mean she kept her shirt buttoned up, her mother wouldn't let her genes be "to tight", couldn't stay out past ten but she had long brown hair (most always in a pony tail), a pretty face and a melt your heart smile.
We weren't out of high school yet but she was always on my mind while doing chores or milking.
It was just a few days before Thanksgiving and she invited over to share it with her family, if my folks didn't mind me not being home with them. Well I got the green light from home but I wasn't to sure about wanting to be "looked over" by her relatives.
Her family was of German decent as was my own but she had an old uncle that was somehow special I guess cause I heard his name plenty of times, UNCLE ADOLPH, good old uncle Adolph.
Well, the day arrived and not wanting to make an entrance I went early, to early by the look her mother gave me when I walked in the door. I was escorted into the living room to talk with who I thought would be the future father in law and the two little in law brothers.
Suddenly, women's squealing voices, uncle Adolph and some aunt type relatives had arrived. I found myself alone in the living room. Not knowing what to expect I was kitchen bound.
There was uncle Adolph, five feet six or seven, no neck to speak of and mostly bald but had a mustache. He spoke with a thick accent. As soon as I made the corner he gave me the eye. You know, a squint with one eyebrow up.
While the meal was being prepared we "men folks" were told to go downstairs and wait to be called.
Not really a REC. ROOM. Painted block walls, painted floor, an old ice box, two half worn easy chairs and one of those oblong formica kitchen tables with chrome legs and four matching chairs.
I remember that we were sitting at the table. I was on one of the long sides with uncle Adolph across from me. My girls father to my left and her brother to my right on the short ends of the table.
Uncle Adolph was probably late seventies and didn't smile much, not at me anyway. He hadn't gone to seed but it was clear that his best days were behind him. Well, somebody mentioned cribbage and little brother jumps up to get the board. I figured the game would be between uncle Adolph and the future FIL. and I'd watch.
While junior was getting the board I noticed the crack in the center of the table was open a bit. I didn't want one of the pegs to slip into the crack, so I stood up and with my long arms, grabbed both ends of the table and with a quick jerk, closed up the crack.
What I didn't know was that some of uncle Adolph's not so tight forearm skin had worked it's way into the table crack.
I can still hear the sounds that uncle Adolph made. You know that a castrated pig and uncle Adolph sounded so much alike I couldn't pick a winner.
Down the steps came the women, the FIL asked me, "what the hell is wrong with you", and my girlfriend walked by without a glance on her way to a whimpering uncle Adolph.
I had my meal in the living room with my classmate, no longer girlfriend and went out the front door so as not to cross through the kitchen.
The uncle did pass the living room on his way to the bathroom. He didn't look my way but was sporting a five inch long blood blister to remember me by.
I'm sure uncle Adolph has gone over to the other side but I believe my old girlfriend is still kickin'. I'll bet she remember turkey day 1961 too. | |
|
I'D HAVE PAID FOR A "DO OVER" THAT DAY
