|
NE Iowa |
How appropriate!
Dear Diary: Just moved to Texas. Really heating up. Got to 100 today.
Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned
car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into
a sun worshipper.
June 15th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
June 29th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people
get used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But
getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 1st:
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60%
of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my
lesson, though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 2nd:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water
balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and ****s. I learned my lesson,
though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.
July 3rd:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And
it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order
parts.
July 4th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now.
$225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one.
Why did I ever come here?
July 5th:
Its 108 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It
cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.
July 6th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm
going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator
is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
July 7th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat
on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to
the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs
and ass . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
July 8th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and
sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do **** for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700
worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live
in this damn heat.
July 9th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 110 today. Cactus are dead.
Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car.
The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for
you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking
Texas. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??
Will write later to let you know how the trial goes
| |
|
Hot Enough for You?.....for all texans......
