why is it that when i whine im being critical and unloving but when my wife whines she is somehow laying down constitutional law???

for example.... when i say "this casserole is bland and could use some salt" im being insensitive and the above.  however.......
when she says "i worked all weekend and the laundry still hasn't changed over!" some how that is not being critical? unloving? insensitive? i was gonna do it sometime! by the way, we still had plenty of clothes in the dresser too.....

plus i figure if i did all the laundry and she wasnt here then she wouldn't know i did it.... no credit. if i waited till she seen me folding the towels then she could see me doing laundry thus knowing i do help out around the house.
still trying to figure this out.... 3 yrs. in august.