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Worst Meal You Got as a Hired Man
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olivetroad
Posted 1/22/2021 19:19 (#8773189 - in reply to #8769592)
Subject: RE: Worst Meal You Got as a Hired Man


Kingdom of Callaway - Fulton, Mo 65251
I had a neighbor that was well known for being tight. He always had a big garden and when he had to go to the bathroom (both kinds) he made a point to relieve himself in the garden for the free fertilizer. One Saturday night at 3:00 in the morning, after a late night party, my friends and I drove that way headed home. When we went by his place, there he was squatted down out there doing his business. We stopped and honked at him, and he yelled out: "leave me alone, I've got the scours!" We still laugh about that. Needless to say, I never ate his farm raised veggies.

On Saturday afternoons, he would pick me up and we would drive to all the local furniture stores and pick up all the junk box springs they had hauled off for folks to take back and use patching fences. Then he would stop and get $1.00 worth of gas at a station so he could swipe a big handful of paper towels from the dispenser for shop towels. One time his truck was out of washer fluid, and I saw him dip out a gallon of fluid from the containers by the pumps that hold the squeegee for washing your windshield. He was REALLY tight.

We mowed his hay with side mounted sickle mowers on a old WC Allis, and a Farmall H. The H had lost its hood somehow, so he laid a skin of a dead sheep nailed to a board over the motor to keep the rain off. He even cut a hole in it for the exhaust. The hotter it got out, the more that skin stunk. If you killed a rabbit, or any of God's creatures, while mowing, he would jump off and throw it in the toolbox, drive around all day with it in there in the hot July weather, then at night skin it, and throw it in a bucket on the side porch. If you saw roadkill on the road, he'd slam on the brakes and make me pick that up as well. Every day at lunch, he would root around in that damn bucket and then fry up some meat for lunch. One time I know I saw the remains of a dog in there. The whole porch was just covered in flies. His wife was a very clean, nice, and polite lady. They also owned a insurance agency, so she was at the office all day. She told me to never eat his lunch cooking, so she always the night before I worked made me up a plate of really good food and wrapped it in foil in the fridge with my name on it. That really pissed him off. He would grumble all through lunch about how I was eating him out of house and home. I'd just grin and keep on eating. That's just scratching the surface of stories about him.......
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