Wife and I have discussed that very subject. Same here.

It would be tough making that decision for someone else if it had not been discussed prior and know their wishes.

The post does bring up a good point. If a person is going to agree to have POA over an elderly person might be a good thing to discuss early while they are in good mind. Probably not something I would have thought of though.

My dad took care of my mom the last six months of her life that was very difficult for both him and her. Then my wife and I lived in with my Dad the last month or so of his life so he would not have to go to a rest home. In both their cases they did pretty well mentally till about the last 6 months, then their ideas and thoughts became sketchy. Seems like, at least in their case, when it gets near the end the thinking is not very clear. Mom got very verbally abusive to dad (never like her in her lifetime) and was really tough on him but he knew it was not the real her talking. Dad did not get that way with us but more like talking to a 5th grader than an adult.

On a positive note they both had conveyed their wishes pretty well much before the end so our family had some direction of what they both wanted. Don't know that either would have been able to make good decisions for themselves toward the end. They also had a revocable living trust which made the estate settling go like a breeze. We were thankful for that.

John