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Illinois | Whether I like it or not, I'm responsible for an elderly man who was placed in nursing home care against his wishes about a year ago. He had named me POA a few years prior. I am not family, but I consider this person a friend.
The problem is that the nursing home is a long distance from his hometown, which is also my hometown. Due to some prior instability issues in this person's life, this particular home was the only facility within a 2 state area that would accept him after a stay in the hospital. Since he has been there, he has begged me to bring him home. All medical professionals have told me there is no way he can be home without full time care. I agree with that based on my experience with him in recent years. He is in his mid 80's and cannot walk without assistance. His house is in poor condition, and he doesn't keep a sanitary food supply. Finding full time care at his home would be impossible.
Shame on me that I have not yet traveled to visit him in the home. This has been somewhat intentional, as I know he would make it very difficult for me to leave without taking him with me. I've actively tried to get him to a local facility so people he knows can visit, but no facility will take him. He is on full Medicaid.
The home is now telling me that his condition is declining, and they are recommending hospice care. They say he is lethargic and largely unresponsive. They tell me his vitals are fine though. I do not get a real fuzzy feeling in fully trusting the medical people. Maybe that's not fair, but I just don't. I think his decline is due to him knowing he is stuck there, and he is going to die with no one he is familiar with around. I worry they are making decisions that are in their best interest and not his.
Unfortunately, with the COVID-19 issue, I now cannot go see him to help me make better decisions and get more comfortable with the care he is receiving.
Basically, I'm looking for some advice and looking for others' experiences with nursing home facilities in these types of situations. Should I fully trust he is getting good care and make decisions for him based on what they tell me? | |
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Nursing home
