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XtendiMax online training stream-of-consciousness
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Posted 3/24/2020 22:09 (#8136596)
Subject: XtendiMax online training stream-of-consciousness


All in-person trainings cancelled, gotta do it online.


This is probably going to turn into a sad joke.

I can read 6x as fast as this dude talks.

The timer runs for several seconds after the dude quits talking before you can go to the next screen.

Nope, can't flip to a different tab on my iPad to avoid the screen, guess I'll head up to my office so I can use my laptop during this educational experience.

I have yet to hear anything I haven't heard twice already (previous years of in-person training).

I'm gonna buy non-dicamba soybeans next year just to avoid this hour of brain death.

At least for IT security trainings and other duplicative required yearly trainings, there is a test-only option to avoid this hour.

It's important for you to know that Bayer wants you to know that volatility is the LEAST LIKELY form of off-target movement after particle drift and contaminated equipment.

Yup, for the millionth time, I realize the lobbyist has effectively transferred all responsibility to the applicator.  We get it.

I wish there was a bar to show progress so I could figure out how to manage my attention span.

Whoops, section 3.  Did you know smaller droplets drift more?  Surprise!  They do!

At least you can listen to podcasts at 1.25 or 1.5x actual speed.  Haven't ever listened to SharkFarmer at 1.5x? Try it, it's awesome.  Especially when he used to talk about his overlord's underlord.   When I figured out all the episodes I had ever heard were at 1.5x and I slowed it down, I learned that he wasn't actually a chipmunk (Alvin?).  But it got a little less irreverent and funny.  Just a little.

Hey, the picture is of a Patriot sprayer!  I can get down with that.

Don't forget, the applicator is responsible for EVERYTHING.  That means you.

Bup .. bup .. bup …. timer finally timed out, can go to the next screen.  D'you think the content creator realizes you just watch the timer instead of looking at the tiny little words on the screen when there are delays like this?

Pro Tip: the answer so far is NEVER 'talk to your neighbor' or 'it's not important'.

At least there are occasional pictures.

Again, presentation 101, at least tell people where they are in the process occasionally.  Boring ...

Yo Delta, don't spray this stuff from a plane.  For Realz, yo.

Yo everybody, don't spray this stuff 'when the soil is above field capacity and runoff is expected'.  You know, like when it rains 10" a week for a month and you have the floaters on to mud your way through the field.  Serious note outside of this training: dicamba is supposedly very water-soluble.

<<Now it's a party!! I stopped to eat supper and when I came back it froze and would not continue from the pause, then when I refreshed it started over.  Quite simply … amazing … use of technology, Bayer.  This has indeed turned into a sad joke.>>

Turned volume off, heard this all a couple hours ago.

Oops, gotta hit the forward button. 

Reminder, there are 8 sections.

Aha, I am writing the answers down this time.  There's one trick question and a bunch of easy ones.  Don't forget, if this stuff doesn't work you can call the product rep AND/OR the retailer.  I suppose even if you bought it wholesale and own a sprayer.  Trick's on you, local retailer!

Only cool part of the training so far … I now have proof that those paintball smoke grenades I bought on Amazon are for farm use.  Yup, farm use!  Nope, I don't paintball … yet.  Maybe I can write off that paintball gun as a marking or communication device?  Grain cart driver not paying attention, drive up to the cart and let fly at the cab windows.

There's a picture of a red sprayer again.

Clean means clean, people.  That's triple rinse as in 3.  In case your mother didn't teach you to wash your hands and other obvious obviousness.

Pro Tip #2.  This is much less annoying with the volume off while watching YouTube videos.  Just remember to click next every once in a while.

Whew!  Done.

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