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A little humor..........
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jakescia
Posted 1/8/2019 09:31 (#7229238)
Subject: A little humor..........



Oskaloosa, Iowa 52577

(as sent to me this morning)

ubject: Fwd: Happy Thoughts

 

1. I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year.

Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even

number?

 

2. l find it ironic that the colors red, white, and

blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

 

3. When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their

body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered

parts.

 

4. Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever

looked at your X and wondered Y?

 

5. America is a country which produces citizens who

will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't

cross the street to vote.

 

6. You know that tingly little feeling you get when

you love someone? That's your common sense leaving your

body.

 

7. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with

vengeance. We'll see about that.

 

8. They say that money talks .. but all mine ever says

is good-bye.

 

9. So you've put on a few pounds. You're not fat,

you're just easier to see.

 

10. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive,

try missing a couple of payments.

 

11. I have always wondered what the job application is

like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say,

"Here, fill this out?"

 

12. I can't understand why women are OK that JC Penney

has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."

 

13. Denny's has a slogan, "If it's your birthday, the

meal is on us. "If you're in Denny's and it's your

birthday, your life sucks!

 

14. The location of your mailbox shows you how far away

from your house you can go in a robe before you start

looking like a mental patient.

 

15. I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a

language entirely out of tattoos

 

16. Money can't buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in

touch!

 

17. The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was

because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney,

Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T. Bass,

Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie, were all

single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed

drunk.

 

 

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