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Farming with dad.
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tigger
Posted 10/4/2018 15:45 (#7025647 - in reply to #7024517)
Subject: RE: Farming with dad.


Iowa
In my first response, I mentioned that you have things for which to be thankful: your youth, your wife, and your children. Now, I would add these to the list: your father's current health, and your mother still being alive.

Here is why. Apparently your father is still able to take care of himself. Although difficult to get along with and being older and less capable of doing grunt work, he is apparently able to dress and feed himself, can live independently, and can take care of his own affairs. Your mother is still in the picture to provide companionship and assistance. Even if both had some health problems, they would likely be able to take care of each other much longer than either would be able to do so by themselves.

At this point, their health and well being is mostly their responsibility. Your responsibility is to your wife and children. If that means moving away and being independent of the farm, so be it. If it means finding a way to make the best of a bad situation while staying on the farm, so be it.

"You all know what happens to those old boys who quit working. His health will fail and his years will be numbered." - That's a common line of thought, usually encouraged by people who are afraid to let go. Lot's of people live healthy lives for many years after retiring from the farm. If the parent is of reasonably sound mind, it is the parent's responsibility to maintain their health. It is not the next of kin's responsibility until the parent is no longer able to do so. Staying in the drivers seat on the farm is not a magic fountain of youth. That's been a myth propped up at the expense of the next of children more than once. Either way, all will eventually die. That's what everyone eventually does, especially when they get older regardless of weather they stay in control of the farm to the end or not.

Good luck to you. You have much to be thankful for that I did not have. You also have extra responsibilities with wife and children that I did not have. Everyone's situation is different.
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