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Farming with dad.
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MJD02
Posted 9/30/2018 07:09 (#7016927 - in reply to #7015767)
Subject: RE: Farming with dad.


West River, SD
dlerwick - 9/29/2018 12:39

The previous post by Tiler should be printed out and tacked to the wall of every family farm shop. 

Lack of empathy and respect for the labors of the father and an exaggerated sense of entitlement interfere with timely transfers.  You aren't owed anything, regardless of your view of how much you have contributed.  If you have been paid, you have been compensated for your labor.  Communication is the key, and if you don't have regular conversations with your father about the transfer of management then you don't have any reason to complain.  You should have weekly discussions about what he sees as your weaknesses and the things you need to be learning.  Thirteen years seems like a long time to you, to him it is but a blip.  Maybe you aren't demonstrating the level of competence that you think you are.  Maybe your perception of your own contribution is not what his is.  Maybe the modernization that you think is so valuable hasn't proven itself out to him.  Again, not knowing you from Adam and having only your perception to go with, I am left with the impression that you need to demonstrate respect and humility to him.  There is no age limit on the admonition to honor your father and mother.

The lawyer that we have worked with to write our own estate plan told us about visiting with a mother and her son that were working on a transfer like you are talking about.  She said her council to the son was that he had a golden opportunity to shut his mouth and learn.  I have been on our family farm for about 5 years longer than you have.  I have some management responsibility now, but it is limited in scope and only so long as I demonstrate that I am making carefully considered decisions.  The reality is that some of the responsibility will not be mine until my father dies.  I chaffed under the position I was in for a few years.  When I finally realized that I have to show respect and demonstrate a willingness to seek my father's council things began to change.  My father and I have a good personal and working relationship, but it didn't happen by accident.  It was the result of frequent conversations and my recognition that I am never so old or wise that my father won't still have things to teach me.  Humility will go a long ways to smoothing your path forward.

Much of the other advice here has advocated some form of confrontation and/or ultimatum.  I urge you to forgo that path, you will live to regret it.



THIS post is just..........................garbage
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