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For those in a relationship. Part 5 of 40
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ndred
Posted 11/28/2012 10:45 (#2721364 - in reply to #2720790)
Subject: Re: For those in a relationship. Part 5 of 40


s nd
There is no right answer. But you just don't wake up one day and say, guess I'm over that marriage and divorce. That has affected every aspect of that womans'/mans' being, and with people that love deeply, hurt deeply. My ex-bil is still mad after seven years. Then there are some that just shake it off and move on. I don't know if I would want someone like that in my life, either.

Don't ever fault them for bringing something up about their previous life, that's just gonna happen. Support her, but be objective. If you don't agree with them, don't just tell them so, but say you will have to think about that one for awhile. I told the woman I talk of below that I had to find out if she wasn't the biggest bitch in the world. She said she was thinking of her share of the failure of her marriage.

It just seems impossible for a healthy person to date a hurting (damaged is a strong word) person. I wonder if that is why people end up back with the type of person they were trying to get away from. Been there, done that. I don't have the t-shirt cause I gave that to her too. Makes sense to think the healthy person feels they are helping the other person, but things don't work that way. You can be the nicest person in the world, but just don't think that is what the other needs. I got no advice that is gonna help. We guys just like to fix things, and sometimes(most times) that is not what the woman is looking for. It's been six or seven years since I dated the woman that looked like my soul mate, and it still hurts a little. When you're cut from the same cloth, as they say, you try everthing you can think of to make it with that person. Sometimes nothing works. It helps to replace that love with another, but when you thought you had the best, it's hard to be content with less.

I would say, if you really like her, don't move on with another. That's not going to be very popular, but if she sees you are able to wait without having to have someone in your life, it may help her accept you. Then again, you will see her out with someone else and wonder what the hell you were thinking of not moving on. Anybody got any vodka on here.



Of course, I could go with my short answer. If they give you trouble, slow down to fifty five and throw them out. Good luck.
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