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| I've been working on my parents' dairy farm, some from age six and full time since 2017 (minus college). Last year's May, parents moved off the farm and my brother moved into their house so that the 'boys can take over'.
It hasn't been going well. Although I don't fight with my brother much on daily work, future plans have been pushed back a year and now likely cancelled because of difference in philosophy.
I'm 29, single; I'm autistic and suffer from depression. My brother (4yrs younger) is married (city girl) and has twins. Other siblings - a vegetarian brother and a brain-damaged sister(car accident). My mom helps out with calves and does 70 percent of the books. My father is too worn out to do much.
I've been planning for three years - barn plan (extensively done), management scheme, ultimate herd size - ~100 cows, straw pack barn with outside lot, low tech/input-OK output, minimal hired help.
My brother insisted we hire someone when he came in; we eventually settled on our cousin-once-removed (he grew up on a dairy), who said he would be interested in becoming a partner. I could live with that.
Now the fight, I guess. I wanted to stay small and repairable, so I wanted a step-up milking parlour. If you don't know, it's more work, but goes faster than other types per stall, is WAY cheaper, and is more personal with the cows. I sent my brother and cousin for a field trip to milk in one; my brother reported that it was cool but hard, my cousin reported that (I deridingly paraphrase) it was too complicated for him - he'd have to pay attention. (This farm wasn't the best example, but was the closest by 600 km.) I laid out all the benefits and detriments as best I could, trying to make a case for it. My brother, his wife, and my cousin said it had to be a parallel parlour, because it was easier on the employees (notice the 's'), was more efficient, and you couldn't expect people to learn how to use a step-up parlour. They kept saying things about work-life balance and 'being decent' to the workers.
I got pissed. I'm constantly asked to make the tough decisions, except this of course! I'm running myself into shambles trying to modernize/repair the place, while 'free time is very important'. What the **** is work-life balance when starting into a business!? (And I can think of better uses for $300,000!) Somewhere around this time, I heard third-hand that my cousin had never wanted to be a partner (so why was he at the meetings?). I suppose it's pretty autistic of me, but I went bonkers and left for two weeks.
So, in the present (that was October last year), my brother plans to leave at the end of the year, I intimated the need for my cousin to find a job elsewhere (ineptitude), all plans for future are on indefinite suspension.
I don't think I can do it myself, even with improved equipment. I'd probably crack inside of a year and put myself in the dirt. (At the moment milking and feeding eats 8 hours per day; when irrigation needs doing, add 3 hours. Improved equipment would probably reduce chore workload to six hours, including irrigation.) I'm just not very stable mentally.
I'm worried I'm the guy running my parents' place into the ground. Some have suggested 'throwing him a bone' - at least I'd still be farming. Others think I can certainly do it by myself (my parents don't think so).
I love the beasties; what else would I do?
Do you guys have any ideas or encouragement?
Edit in response to queries: Currently milking 70 cows in double five herringbone, barn was built in 1981, freestall with drylot.
Situated in Alberta, Canada.
In the last 6 years, I've added chimney vents, eave inlet, exhaust fans in parlour, and robot manure scraper(previously skidsteer). The next most recent upgrade was automatic takeoffs in 2001.
Edited by Sontiainen 6/8/2025 00:16
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Counsel or Comfort please
