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East-Central Ontario | A cowboy, and Indian and a Muslim were all having a drink together at the local watering hole.
The Indian said to the other two, "Once we were many, now we're few," and sadly took a drink of his whiskey.
The Muslim then said to the other two, "Once we were few, now we're many," and happily took a drink of his whiskey.
To which the cowboy replied, "That's because we haven't played cowboys and Muslims yet........"
Can I Speak To The Manager?
A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room!"
A dedicated TWU union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"
"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered
Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."
The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" "The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
"That's more like it!" the union man said.
He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.
"I'd like her," he said.
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next."
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"!
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair -given that you are blind -that you should know five things:
First - The bartender is a blonde girl.
Second - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
Third - I'm a 6 feet tall, 120 kg blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
Fourth - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter, and Fifth - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell a Blonde joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head,and declares, "Nah...Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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Any Good Jokes?
