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Who will look after you when you can't look after yourself?
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Usetobe dental asst
Posted 1/8/2022 08:14 (#9426998 - in reply to #9426873)
Subject: RE: Who will look after you when you can't look after yourself?

South Central MN
I can’t speak for what our kids will do for us as we get older, but the last couple of years showed me assisted living facilities/nursing homes are not where I am going. After seeing how my husband’s parents (and others) were treated in those places during Covid was eye opening. The assisted living facility had previously been considered a very good place to live, but Covid restricting family and many of the residents healthcare providers from entering this facility caused every aspect of the care to become so sub-standard and even dangerous. I could give many examples, but I won’t do that here, but I am speaking of situations that were witnessed, and some even on a security camera. Luckily for my husband and myself, our kids also witnessed this, so I doubt there would be a push to move us to one of these places. In hindsight, I think the entire family thinks we should have moved them back home, taking turns checking on them several times a day, and providing their meals. This wouldn’t have been ideal, and all of their needs would not have been met in that way either, but it would have been so much better for them. When I hear people say they needed to move their loved one to such a place “for their safety”, I am very quick to say they won’t be any safer there than at home. Even if the elderly are neglected at home, they are likely in a better situation. When I had lengthy conversations with an ombudsman (for those that don’t know, this is someone who can be a “go-between” between the resident and the facility), the ombudsman (who is very familiar with these facilities) told me he will never go there. His exact words were “there are very high places I could fall from” to avoid going there. There comes a time to do what needs to be done and take care of the people who took care of you. Sorry for the rant (and it could have been much longer), but obviously I feel very strongly about this.
Something we can do for ourselves to hopefully be able to care for ourselves longer is to stay active and healthy NOW.
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