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Chemical imbalance
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Posted 1/3/2022 13:50 (#9416253 - in reply to #9415520)
Subject: RE: Chemical imbalance


I have a friend whose spouse was in this position.  Some little kids when it got serious.

A strong supportive family presence from her spouse and her in-laws had her pointed towards a therapeutic regimen.  

When she told her own family they, having their own issues, were unable to recognize the severity of her condition, derailed her treatment plan, and it ultimately led to her acting out and subsequent divorce.  My belief is that it won’t and can’t stop until her family stops enabling her.  Lots of damage.

So, I have an n of 1, but doing nothing is a terrible idea.

I would advise you to go see a counselor yourself, because counselors, social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists deal with these issues often, and enough so that they have good suggestions and good techniques.

Take the time you need and take good care of yourself because from watching my buddy from the outside, there isn’t much more trying work than trying to plug the holes in the dam for the family while another family member is ripping new holes as fast as possible.  It’s your spouse, and it’s your responsibility (at least up to a point), and everyone else who isn’t supportive of the solution can darn well stay the heck out of it.  Helping folks welcome, you to determine the limits and boundaries.

Get a journal or a calendar and write things down.  Dates and times.  Nervous tics, sudden rages, depression, cycling, etc.  This can help with diagnoses down the road.

Protect your heart, because it is illness talking, not the person you married.  Do things with your friends for an outlet.  

I am sorry you are in this position.  Praying for you.  There is help out there.  It’s a process.  It’s tough because there is a line between informed consent and involuntary medical actions.  And your spouse can still ultimately choose to emotionally fly the plane into the ground with you beside her and the family in the back seat.  And that will hurt for a long time.

Observations from a guy who stood there and watched it happened to a friend. 

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