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SW Ohio | My husband and I are on the other side of this. Our son is only 5 months old and we have a very open relationship with his birth parents.
Concerning his birth certificate: In the state of Ohio, after six months old his adoption will be finalized and his birth cert will be changed to our names. He will be able to access his original birth cert when he is 18 years old. He can either go through the adoption agency we used to do this or through the courthouse, I believe. I believe this is a federal thing and not state-by-state.
When we were going through the homestudy process I do remember something being said about birth cert/adoption records before 1970 something had previously been sealed, but are now opened and accessible. We met a couple during our adoption classes and the husband had just met his birth mom. I know he spoke many of the same thoughts as you. In the end, he was more excited to connect/re-connect with a few siblings (he was adopted at 18 mo) more so than his biological parent.
I know with adoption there is a sense of identity lost. Who could you have been? What would it have been like? etc. Locating your birth family may help with this. What do you have to loose? I think as long as you go into this journey with realistic expectations, then it will help you heal. Think of the possible scenarios: It is a great reunion and you add to your family. It is a let down, birth mom/dad are not what you are hopeful for. Everything in between can happen as well.
Also, there are plenty of biological sons/daughters that don't have anything in common with mom/dad. I know of two close family members where this is true. Both are sons and to this day it eats away at both dad and son that their is little/nothing in common.
Good luck and I hope you find healing. I would be interested in how this works out for you.
Sarah
Edit to add: I just re-read your original post. You said you wanted to have a relationship with your biological parents. This is a heavy thought to lay on someone's heart and mind. Know this: Through adoption every party loses something big and gains something big. Birth parents lose the opportunity to be with and watch the child they brought into this world grow and prosper, but gain (hopefully) peace of mind in knowing another family is providing something that they were not able to at that time. Adopted children lose what could have been and a core piece of their identity, but gain a family that is able to provide security and opportunities. Adoptive parents lose the nine months of carrying a baby and the comfort in recognizing family traits, but gain a most precious son or daughter to raise and love.
While I think it is totally understandable that you want to partake in this missing relationship, you might want to reconcile with the thought that it might not work out as you hope and dream about it. It could....but it might not. Don't celebrate something that isn't there, but also don't mourn something that isn't yet gone. I will pray for you and best of luck :)
Edited by Grain Hay Cattle 2/11/2017 08:47
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Anyone else adopted?
