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E. Kansas | I almost always give a donation to the designated memorial. Sometimes there are 2 or 3 choices, which is often a good idea. If it's a place I really don't trust or like, which is rare, then maybe send flowers instead, or just don't give a donation. The funeral homes here always have donation envelopes by the guest book that you can fill out (including your mailing address) and not have to have a sympathy card. Sometimes you don't have a card or don't find one you like for the particular situation.
This spring I attended the funeral for a brother of my uncle's wife. I knew the deceased, but not well and hadn't seen him in years. I was there out of respect for my aunt. In that particular situation, I didn't give a donation, and I didn't like the place they had designated for the memorial since I felt it was more of a "pleasure" establishment that could raise their own money from those who go there to socialize, drink coffee, eat, play bingo, etc.
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Are you always suppose to give money/gift for funeral
